It was a day like most others. Being only seven, I was out on our front porch playing in the afternoon sunshine while my mom was inside doing “mom things.” I enjoyed the day with the birds singing and the dogs running around the neighborhood when my dad drove up to our house. He got out, walked up to the door without acknowledging me, and knocked.
When my mom opened the door, my dad threw a piece of paper at her and growled, “Here is your blood money!” He then turned and stomped off, leaving my mom shaken and visibly upset. I didn’t know then what had happened, but I knew my daddy was angry. I found out later, listening to my mom talk to my grandmother, that the paper was a child support check. My father did not want to provide any money to take care of us.
Fears of being unwanted and unworthy began to percolate in my little girl heart.
If Daddy didn’t want me, didn’t love me, then why would anyone else? This event gave me a new lens through which I saw my value. I didn’t matter. I wasn’t enough. I was unworthy.
This, in spite of a mother that loved me to the moon and back and consistently built me up.
This, in spite of a God who loved me so much that He sent His Son to die for me.
This, despite accepting Jesus as my Savior.
In my head, I knew God loved me deeply, but until recently there were days and seasons of depression and sadness. I was unable to overcome the damage of my father’s rejection.
But God could.
God wanted me to know — really know deep in my soul — how much He loved me and that He would never reject me. Because I had not fully allowed myself to receive the Father’s love as my Lord and Savior, He orchestrated the circumstances of my life to allow me to experience His salvation. In His goodness, the Lord got my attention in a very big way through a job loss – yet another rejection!
How can this be a good thing, you ask? Even as I received the unexpected news that my job had been eliminated, I knew God’s hand was in the situation. I felt His loving presence fill me with His peace and calm. I knew He had allowed this loss to show me how much He loved me.
When I turned to Him, I clung to His promises and His encouragement. I felt my soul being healed, and I received a supernatural sense of peace, despite the uncertainty of my situation. But God wanted more for me. He wanted to shift my perspective, to remove and crush the lens that had lied about my identity from the age of seven. He wanted me to see myself from His perspective. He did this through a verse that became a healing balm to my soul:
“Even before He made the world, God loved us and chose us [me] in Christ to be holy and without fault in His eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us [me] into His own family by bringing us [me] to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure.”
Ephesians 1:4-5 (NLT)
God chose me. God has adopted me through the sacrifice and blood of His Son. He loves me. And best of all — He decided this before I was even born. It made the God of the universe happy to have me in His family.
Wow! As these verses became alive, God wrapped His arms around me and gave me a huge hug. At that moment, my perspective shifted. Even though my earthly father hadn’t treasured me, I had a heavenly Father who did treasure me. My true Father loved me and sacrificed everything because He desired me as His child. He was overjoyed to have me as part of His family! This realization began the deep healing process.
I started to see myself as God sees me: a beloved daughter, one made worthy by the blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ. “Once you were far away from God, but now you have brought near to Him through the blood of Christ.” Ephesians 2:13 (NLT)
I still feel depressed and rejected at times. Some days are not at all bright and shiny. However, now when I feel that way, I meditate on God’s Word and soak in the magnitude of what He has done for me. This reminds me that I am good enough. I am chosen. I am loved and worthy.
Have you felt rejected? Unworthy? Unloved? Not good enough? If you have, then it is my prayer that you feel God’s arms wrap around you as a beloved child, an adopted member of His family. I pray that you know deeply how special you are to Him. The God of the universe is happy to have you in His family.
I encourage you to receive this personal revelation by inserting your name into Ephesians 1:4-5. Read it out loud and bask in His great pleasure. He calls you Chosen, Adopted, and Loved.
You are the one He chooses.
You are the one He adopts.
You are the one He loves.
No matter how many times you have been rejected or overlooked, our Father in heaven sees you and adores you.
I am worthy and loved. You are worthy and loved. We are His chosen ones.