Enjoy this devotional written by a FlourishWriter’s Student…
Approximately 2 years ago, I ended up in hospital. At that moment in time, I remembered being quite desperate, scared and feeling helpless. What was happening? What was going on? As my body was getting weaker so was my brain. I felt tugged by the strong waves of life and pulled away from the shore. My feet did not touch the ground anymore and fear was gripping me as I felt like I was drowning in a sea of uncertainty. Something did not feel quite right.
Among many symptoms, I had been experiencing an increasing feeling of dizziness for the past 3 weeks. I felt like I would fall off anytime. Because of that, I felt extremely wary of carrying my newborn and I had to find safer ways of moving him around or change his nappies. Eventually, I had to stop driving because of the severity of it which made me feel pretty useless…
After many medical tests, nothing drastically wrong came back. I guess it was reassuring but did that mean that I was making it all up?
From then on started a long process of tests, different diagnoses, health treatments and a string of different specialists. During that process, the Lord was with me and from the very beginning, amidst the fear of not knowing what was wrong with me, I had the assurance God would heal me 100% in his own timing. Timing seemed to be the keyword and I knew that I had to trust the Lord and wait for him and meditate on Psalm 46:10 NIV.
“He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.””
But how proactive was I supposed to be and how much was I supposed to just wait on him. Looking back, I can see that I was battling inner fears such as not recognizing the right diagnosis on time. It is incredible how fear can paralyses. I knew that if I fully trusted God, I should have no fear, but at times I did struggle to apply it and clouds of darkness would linger for a little while. After finally getting a diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (whatever that meant), my quest for healing finally began.
Although the ground around me was pretty shaky, the word of God was keeping me strong. It is only by the strength of God and his grace that I managed to keep going every single minute every single day despite the extreme tiredness. Every morning, I felt so tired like after a sleepless night but I still had to navigate through the day. Day after day without relief; God is amazing. He brought me on my knees and gave the privilege of investigating a relationship with him, a wonderful and undeserved gift.
Once I fully yielded to God to fully rely on him instead of wasting my time and energy on looking for the answers, a peace fell upon me: it was not my job to fix me. I had to trust the Lord that his plans were good and to let him be in control of my ship instead of being such a rebellious child. Was I able to do just that?
I therefore anchored myself even more in His Word. I desired to have his words resonating in all my being and fully breathing them. I realized that my attitude was everything and it was time to modify a lot of my perceptions of things. My quest of imprinting God’s wisdom in my heart was sparked as was my thirst for a slice of his knowledge. How great is our God! He has truly designed us in a wonderful way. As mentioned in Psalm 139:14,
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
The intent of telling you my story is not to linger too much on me but hopefully to point to God and that he is among your story as well. He cares for you deeply and he is there if you will let him. Time can seem so long and the seconds become so painfully still when pain is part of the landscape but take heart because the sun will eventually glow again and warm your bruised heart. You need to hang on during the tough time because God will see you through it.
God is the best friend you could ever have! Do you let him be your friend?
Do you commit your heart to your relationship with God?
God loves it when we just do that and as in every relationship, the more we pour in, the more we drink of its wonderfulness.
Nothing is impossible for God who has that amazing ability of turning a pretty dim situation into one full of hope; so please, my friend, do not despair if you are in a dark spot. Just ask God how to be his friend and he will show you.
I pray that you will feel his hand on you and thrive in his embrace, in his Word and as his friend.
Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge. (ESV Psalm 62:5-8)
Elodie lives in far away Australia with her husband, 3 little boys, 2 dogs and a blue tongue lizard. She has been flourishing thanks to the wonderful ministry of FlourishWriters, and feels very privileged to share her story. All for Him, Amen.